Open in app

Sign In

Write

Sign In

Benjamin Davis
Benjamin Davis

7.8K Followers

Home

Books

Lists

About

Featured Book

The King of FU
The King of FU

Tribalism, supervisors, sheriffs, bullies, sex, suicide, dead prisoners, drugs, porn, middle school, and Jesus. Poems.

2018

·
Benjamin Davis
Benjamin Davis

Stories

Published in

Human Parts

·Pinned

That Time I Got Illegal Butt Surgery in Russia

How I almost died after developing a perineal abscess — I was working as a journalist in Saint Petersburg when the butt pain started. The doctor’s heavy Russian accent made me believe I had “gemroids,” which sounded like asteroids made of gemstones, which seemed a lot better than what I actually had: hemorrhoids. …

Humor

14 min read

That Time I Got Illegal Butt Surgery in Russia
That Time I Got Illegal Butt Surgery in Russia
Humor

14 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·Pinned

Contemplating My Bisexuality While Gettin’ Swole

My internal struggle as men at the gym keep trying to adopt me — I fit in at the gym about as well as a Disney Princess in a BDSM studio. I don’t get the culture: running, lifting, grunting, groaning, flexing. I’ve never understood the axioms of “power through” or “feel the burn” or “do three more.” The only times that “power through,” “do…

Humor

9 min read

Contemplating My Bisexuality While Gettin’ Swole
Contemplating My Bisexuality While Gettin’ Swole
Humor

9 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·1 day ago

I’m 34 and Still Afraid of the Dark

And you should be too. — When I was a kid, I used to sleep with a heavy comforter over my feet — no matter the season. I’d keep my legs wrapped up to my knees. Why? Witches, obviously. …

Self

6 min read

I’m 34 and Still Afraid of the Dark
I’m 34 and Still Afraid of the Dark
Self

6 min read


Published in

The Writing Cooperative

·2 days ago

Why I Submit to Literary Magazines

One reason among many. — From 2011–2013 I worked as a door-to-door fundraiser for nonprofits. Each day we were given “Turf” — a spliced-up neighborhood of doors to knock on until someone opened, and I could vomit my script all over them. It was a fun job. Most people slammed the door. Enough didn’t. …

Literary Journals

5 min read

Why I Submit to Literary Magazines
Why I Submit to Literary Magazines
Literary Journals

5 min read


Published in

Farewell Alarms

·6 days ago

So You Want to be a Freelancing Nomad? Yeah, OK.

Here is a way for you to find out if you’ve got what it takes. — I’ve thought a lot lately about all of the misconceptions about the ‘nomadic lifestyle’ of freelancers like myself. I think it’s a problem of language — when you spend your life abroad, terms take on new meaning. For example, when someone back home sees ‘Travel Influencer’ they think ‘creative nomadic…

Freelancing

4 min read

So You Want to be a Freelancing Nomad? Yeah, OK.
So You Want to be a Freelancing Nomad? Yeah, OK.
Freelancing

4 min read


Published in

The Startup

·Sep 11

My Company Spent 7 Months Trying to Avoid Shopify (We Failed)

The curse of being an underfunded startup in the face of undeniable convenience. — My company had one rule when we decided to sell merch: Let it be better than anything that might get shot out of a cannon at a hockey game. Seemed like a fair goal. So long as you ignore the fact that I’m pretty sure my business partner Karina nor…

Startup

6 min read

My Company Spent 7 Months Trying to Avoid Shopify (We Failed)
My Company Spent 7 Months Trying to Avoid Shopify (We Failed)
Startup

6 min read


Published in

Sexography

·Sep 6

I Have a Penis Problem

Figuring out how to navigate the penis-checking policy among men is complicated. — In the locker room after my workout, a lovely man strolled out of the shower fully nude. With each step, there was a resounding THWACK of his startlingly gigantic penis hitting his legs. “Sup,” he said. “Uh — hi,” I spluttered. I couldn’t help staring at his penis. I wanted…

Sex

4 min read

I Have a Penis Problem
I Have a Penis Problem
Sex

4 min read


Published in

The Haven

·Sep 4

You Took My Breath Away, and Now I’m Dead

Some conversation math. — I made the mistake of looking up how many breaths a person takes in their lifetime. 605,491,200 if we live to be seventy-two. So Elon Musk has roughly 100 times more money than I’ll ever have gasps of air. Neat. Worse — because it’s not like I can invest in…

Humor

4 min read

You Took My Breath Away, and Now I’m Dead
You Took My Breath Away, and Now I’m Dead
Humor

4 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·Sep 2

Everyone Who Smokes Virginia Slims Is Dead Except Me. Apparently.

I can’t believe I paid $14 dollars for this nonsense for five months. — I can’t say I’ve ever had my finger on the pulse of “cool.” For example, I have owned multiple leather jackets and not a single motorcycle; I got frosted tips six months after NSYNC broke up; the only commentary I have on an MMA fight is, “Why can’t I have…

Humor

4 min read

Everyone Who Smokes Virginia Slims Is Dead Except Me. Apparently.
Everyone Who Smokes Virginia Slims Is Dead Except Me. Apparently.
Humor

4 min read


Published in

Farewell Alarms

·Aug 29

After 10 Years Abroad, These Few Portable Items Make Life Way Better

Five everyday things. — We spent the last week of our three-month Airbnb stay in Barcelona bucket-flushing the toilet with our previously-known-as popcorn bowl. Nothing on this list would have helped us with that situation. …

Travel

5 min read

After 10 Years Abroad, These Few Portable Items Make Life Way Better
After 10 Years Abroad, These Few Portable Items Make Life Way Better
Travel

5 min read

Benjamin Davis

Benjamin Davis

7.8K Followers

Book Author

Founding Editor of Sexography. | Columnist for Lustery POV | | Co-founder of Chill Subs

Following
  • Mr. Plan ₿

    Mr. Plan ₿

  • jaylan snelson

    jaylan snelson

  • Karen Schwartz

    Karen Schwartz

  • J.J. Pryor

    J.J. Pryor

  • Author, D. Denise Dianaty

    Author, D. Denise Dianaty

See all (575)

Help

Status

Writers

Blog

Careers

Privacy

Terms

About

Text to speech

Teams