Open in app

Sign In

Write

Sign In

Benjamin Davis
Benjamin Davis

7.6K Followers

Home

Books

About

Featured Book

The King of FU
The King of FU

Tribalism, supervisors, sheriffs, bullies, sex, suicide, dead prisoners, drugs, porn, middle school, and Jesus. Poems.

2018

·
Benjamin Davis
Benjamin Davis

Stories

Published in

Human Parts

·Pinned

That Time I Got Illegal Butt Surgery in Russia

How I almost died after developing a perineal abscess — I was working as a journalist in Saint Petersburg when the butt pain started. The doctor’s heavy Russian accent made me believe I had “gemroids,” which sounded like asteroids made of gemstones, which seemed a lot better than what I actually had: hemorrhoids. …

Humor

14 min read

That Time I Got Illegal Butt Surgery in Russia
That Time I Got Illegal Butt Surgery in Russia
Humor

14 min read


Published in

Human Parts

·Pinned

Contemplating My Bisexuality While Gettin’ Swole

My internal struggle as men at the gym keep trying to adopt me — I fit in at the gym about as well as a Disney Princess in a BDSM studio. I don’t get the culture: running, lifting, grunting, groaning, flexing. I’ve never understood the axioms of “power through” or “feel the burn” or “do three more.” The only times that “power through,” “do…

Humor

9 min read

Contemplating My Bisexuality While Gettin’ Swole
Contemplating My Bisexuality While Gettin’ Swole
Humor

9 min read


Published in

Farewell Alarms

·Jan 13

The Best Part About Living Abroad Is Not What You’d Expect

It’s not about the beaches or lifestyle — it’s about getting some damn peace and quiet. — The best part about living abroad is not lounging on tropical beaches, exploring castles, or scraping your knee after you each shit on cobblestone streets. No, it's that whenever you’re anywhere unless you’re exceptionally fluent in the local language, you cannot understand any of the dumb shit plastered all over…

Travel

4 min read

The Best Part About Living Abroad Is Not What You’d Expect
The Best Part About Living Abroad Is Not What You’d Expect
Travel

4 min read


Jan 12

Are You Really An Alpha Male?

Or just a petulant man-child? — When my friend told me, adoringly, how everyone hated her husband because he’s an “alpha,” I had to quietly vomit into my breast pocket before saying, “Yes, sure. That’s it.” This was after a day-long cookout where her husband insisted he knew the way to install a basketball hoop, set…

Men

3 min read

Are You Really An Alpha Male?
Are You Really An Alpha Male?
Men

3 min read


Published in

Sexography

·Jan 11

No — Sex in Your Parents’ Bed Is Not Hot

So why the hell did I think it was such a great idea? — *originally published in Lustery POV Sometimes I haunt my past self. I stand over him flabbergasted as he decides different dumb ideas are brilliant and he should do them; frosted tips two years after NSYNC broke up, a leather jacket without a motorcycle, and nairing his balls, for example. Recently…

Sex

4 min read

No — Sex in Your Parents Bed Is Not Hot
No — Sex in Your Parents Bed Is Not Hot
Sex

4 min read


Published in

Farewell Alarms

·Nov 8, 2022

How to Communicate Abroad Without Words (Or Google Translate)

Using your idiocy to your advantage while learning a language. — A lot of folks think that every ex-pat is a linguistic genius. We drop into countries, whip out our Duolingo — and within weeks, we’re chatting away with locals. Fuck no. Do you know how many noun cases there are in Russian? …

Humor

3 min read

How to Communicate Abroad Without Words (Or Google Translate)
How to Communicate Abroad Without Words (Or Google Translate)
Humor

3 min read


Published in

Sexography

·Nov 5, 2022

Can I Bang My Friends in the Metaverse?

Please, please, please, please, please! — Everyone has a Freaky Friday Fuck. Even if you don’t know what that is (which would make sense because I made it up) you’ve got one. It’s the person you’d bang if you got freaky Friday-ed into a gender they’re attracted to. This concept took a whole new turn for…

Sex

3 min read

Can I Bang My Friends in the Metaverse?
Can I Bang My Friends in the Metaverse?
Sex

3 min read


Published in

Farewell Alarms

·Nov 1, 2022

There Are No Car Accidents In Cairo

Except this one…and this one…and this one — I dance like a wounded deer — if you see me on the floor, it’s best to shake your head and walk away. Without music, you might think I was avoiding a bee — or had just been hit by a car. This is what driving in Cairo is like…

Egypt

5 min read

There Are No Car Accidents In Cairo
There Are No Car Accidents In Cairo
Egypt

5 min read


Published in

Farewell Alarms

·Oct 30, 2022

Review of the Best Worst Hotel in Cairo

Only go here if you’re a miserable bag of a — holes. — Have you ever drifted off to the sound of forty horses munching feed? Ever seen a dog shit on a rock taller than he? Ever recognized the same pale slice of meat three days in a row on the platter of a free continental breakfast? Have you ever had your…

Humor

4 min read

Review of the Best Worst Hotel in Cairo
Review of the Best Worst Hotel in Cairo
Humor

4 min read


Published in

Sexography

·Sep 7, 2022

What Masturbation Secrets Do You Have?

No — really — I am running out of ideas. — Masturbation is like murder: if you don’t thoroughly clean up after, someone is bound to find the DNA evidence. This means that every boy who claims to not know how to clean their room is a fucking liar. …

Humor

4 min read

What Masturbation Secrets Do You Have?
What Masturbation Secrets Do You Have?
Humor

4 min read

Benjamin Davis

Benjamin Davis

7.6K Followers

Book Author

Co-founder of Chill Subs | Columnist for Lustery POV | Founding Editor of Sexography.

Following
  • Jonathan Townend, RMN

    Jonathan Townend, RMN

  • Diana Meresc

    Diana Meresc

  • Peculiar Julia

    Peculiar Julia

  • The Sturg

    The Sturg

  • Michelle Brown

    Michelle Brown

See all (441)

Help

Status

Writers

Blog

Careers

Privacy

Terms

About

Text to speech

Teams