Thank you. I am glad it made you laugh. I had been working on this essay ever since the surgery and as I’ve been able to laugh about it, I’ve added and altered and removed and toyed around with it. It has been over a year now and no complications have snuck up on me so I figured it wouldn’t be tempting fate to submit it at this point haha. Had a looot of time to think about those fingers. And I genuinely worried at the time that a spider had laid eggs in my ass because none of the doctors could tell me clearly what was wrong. I was also unable to sleep from the pain so the butt spiders might have been part of my delerium.

Columnist and author. My writing is like a bunch of people at a party trying to tell different jokes at the same time.

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