What Masturbation Secrets Do You Have?

No — really — I am running out of ideas.

Photo by krakenimages on Unsplash

Masturbation is like murder: if you don’t thoroughly clean up after, someone is bound to find the DNA evidence. This means that every boy who claims to not know how to clean their room is a fucking liar. If they can manage to hide a decade of splooge, I think they can figure out how to pick up their goddamn socks.